I am feeling good about myself

I am feeling good about myself. Now and then you must feel good about your own self. It is a therapeutic feeling.
The whole world looks beautiful. It is beautiful.
I went up somewhere in the outback of western australia. It is a 45 minute flight to reach the place. But the moment I landed, I looked up at the sky. It was blissful.
The starry sky of the summer night looked as though you can reach it very easily. It looked closer to you. The waning moon was still a beauty...
It was nirvana...i guess...
These are the moments, I sit and wonder, What am I doing? I would love to roam about enjoy the nature, the world with no care in the world and live every moment of the life.....
May be I am doing it...
Live today as though there is no tomorrow...Wonderful isnt it? We worry about the uncertainities of the future all the time...Coming to think of it, if the future is certain, what is the fun in living. Lif is happening in the present when we keep worrying about our future and the past...
So live this moment I tell myself...Enjoy this starry sky and this blissfull serenity...
Today is real..Tomorrow an illusion...
........

Mixed day

It has been a mixed day for me. I started to do some work - writing. I am happy about it. It was a good feeling though. I get excited when I think about the historical significance of writing something. There again, writing anything cannot make history can it? I sometimes get the urge to contribute something substantial.

I do repent the fact that I am in the kind of a field anymore where an idea can take you places. But then again, I think that a brilliant idea is a brilliant idea...
I am not good enough for that I feel.....

depressing
.......

I am frustrated and angry

Dont know why. I tried to relax and meditate unsuccessfully.
The talk show I went to was good. The brahmakumaris group had organised that. But it only had a momentary effect on me.
I dont take work home. But I think the death we had this morning...I am finding it difficult to cope with. Is it that or something else?
I want to be with people suddenly. I went to work, stopped by everybody and chatted my life away. Somehow it was not enough. It is one of those days when you feel very lonely, no matter what you do, does not matter even if you communicate with the whole world....... you might not find peace. I have not.
Music?
Raaga.com is singing all along in the background.
But NO.
NOT ENOUGH.
I want the world to stop revolving and take notice of my pain.
I want the wind to spread the word about my pain to the world.
I want the clouds to cry for me.
I want the sun and moon blink and the stars disappear for a bit.
I want the whole world to be there and be gone at the same time.
It is difficult when you watch somebody die.
You always think if you could ve done something different.
If you could've saved them....
I want to save them all....